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Christian Gays
Dedicated To Gender Diversity and Faith
Humour | Same Sex Marriage

Ten Reasons Gay Marriages Are Wrong! (Satire)

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still aren’t supposed to marry whites.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in North America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

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  • HOME
  • GAY & CHRISTIAN
    • Christianity & Homosexuality
    • Listen To Christian Music
    • Clobber Verses Explained
    • Videos – Miscellaneous
    • Non-Binary & Queer Humour
    • Articles by Mary Pearson
    • Think We’re Wrong?
    • Gays & Christian Denominations
    • Listen To LGBTQ Christian Music
    • Articles – Miscellaneous
    • Publications for Lesbians & Gays
    • Books by Patricia Spencer
    • Gay & Lesbian History/Herstory
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Listen To Classic Lesbian Music
    • Non-Binary & Marriage Equality
    • Going To Hell Because I’m Gay?
    • Immigration & Refugee Info
    • LGBTIQ+ Youth Support
    • Parents of a GLBTIQ+ Child
    • Same Sex Marriage
    • Find a Church by Location
    • Miscellaneous Resource Links
    • Ex-Gay & Exodus Exposed
    • Two Spirit Resources
    • Movies with LGBTIQ+ Themes
    • Testimonials & Success Stories
    • LGBTIQ+ Seniors Resources
    • Our Stories & Experiences
    • Blogs by our Members
  • SEX, GENDER & ORIENTATION
    • Sex, Gender & Orientation
    • Trans Articles, Books, Resources
    • Transsexual Transgender Videos
    • Intersex & Non-Binary Articles & Resources
    • Intersex Videos
    • For Allies
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