July 26, 2016 at 8:43 pm #17655
So, the past month a lot has happened with me and my family, which I have started to question a lot of stuff and in doing so, has caused a great deal of stress on me. I cannot go into detail, but about a month ago a family secret was revealed and it tore my family up. This secret involved my father, who him and my mother kept telling me when I was in my 20’s that being gay, I would go to hell. Ironically, an ex-preacher who said this, also committed the biggest sin that I know of.
My sister is in the same place I am and it’s hard to see a person you grew up with, call her your sibling and see her struggle the way you are is very, very hard. She has been trying to figure out her marriage and may come to divorce. I am trying to keep in contact with her, be the big brother I am supposed to be and what not.
Me, on the other hand, I have had to take all this in, be strong and when I came back from vacation, I have been mentally, physically and emotionally drained of all things. It took my District Manager to talk to me and now, starting next friday, I will be going to therapy for things that have happened in the past, and for recent relationship issues that may have been a cause of what happened in my childhood. I am also in the process of setting up a doctors appointment soon for a health issues that has come to light over the past few days.
So I am very fortunate that there are people who I can text/message and get things in the open and feel safe and be who I am and learn how to release those feelings I have pushed to the back on my mind. Mom asked me today “This isn’t about you, but in general, how have lies been to you?” — my reply was this “We live and learn, but some lessons we can never remove from our thoughts. When a lie is told and the truth comes out, like the recent family secret, it hurts and the people will question the trust and honor of the family”
So, please keep me and my family in your prayers as we are all going through the biggest struggle. I may need more time away from here, just to make sure I am mentally able to chat with everyone. Thank you in advance to everyone and I really do appreciate everyone where and helping me through things like this.
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