Elder Care

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  • #15107
    Profile photo of drdj
    drdj
    Participant

    Many of us are getting on to an age where care may become a necessity. Yesterday I attended a Prime Timers meeting where a seniors centre for the gay village was talked about. Some here do not have a partner or close family to care for them.

    My experience in Asia is quite different in terms of attitude towards the elderly or family in general. In Hong Kong, I visited three men who had quit their jobs to look after their mothers. I don’t think that was unusual. The ironic thing was all three had had jobs in other countries and had moved back to be with Mom.

    My partner cares financially for his family – he got a business started so they could earn their own money and when there are health care bills he kicks in money. He has also visited them when the ill one demands it (Christmas 2013 his brother who had a hole in his lung asked him to be there for Christmas).

    Mattie reminded me of all this as he is caring for his Mom.

    Arnold swears he will take care of me but I can see he also will need a job. My sons say they will take care of me too but one hates to be a burden. What is the best plan? Pension funds do run out (in Canada they have to be scheduled to last until age 90) but then there is only government monies after.

    #15115
    Profile photo of Pollyesther
    Pollyesther
    Member

    Not having a partner or children, and already being on Social Security Disability, ¬†the scenario of growing old alone is a frightening one. I cannot afford to live on my own as it is. Thank God for family members like my older sister, with whom I live and share expenses. I have 2 nieces (both, oddly enough, named Ashley, but that’s another story) who have promised to care for me if I can no longer care for myself, but, as you say, who wants to be a burden? I spend a lot of time investigating solutions, but so far I seem to fall through a lot of cracks in the system, as do many others I am sure. ¬†Tomorrow I turn 53. I still have many good years ahead of me in spite of the health problems I face, but somewhere ahead lay shadows. Hopefully, by then a solution will present itself that will work for both the girls and me.

    #15116
    Profile photo of drdj
    drdj
    Participant

    Thank you for your post as I believe it represents a large number of elders in the LGBT community. Indeed, there is some question as to the ability of regular retirement homes and nursing hmes to understand the needs of an LGBT individual.

    I am 73 (will be in 6 weeks) and still active and have a decent pension. Yet, a divorce and a bad experience with the tax department the year I retired leave me with little discretionary income. I am renting two rooms from my sister who also was in a position of needing funds to continue. That means my partner and I are not living together right now and neither of us seem able to put together the funds to pay first and last months rent for our own place.

    I think there are several issues for elders – one, the funds; two the people; and three the availability of LGBT friendly facilities. A few years back the Gay and Lesbian film festival had a film on elder care in Germany for gays and lesbians – fascinating. They participated in planning and were shown moving in. Don’t know long-term what happened to the place.

    The Prime Timers Organization world-wide provides a place for gay men over a certain age to gather and every second year they have an international gathering – in 2015 it was in Los Vegas. BUT, that is not available to the poorer or disabled who cannot travel.

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