Thank you for your post as I believe it represents a large number of elders in the LGBT community. Indeed, there is some question as to the ability of regular retirement homes and nursing hmes to understand the needs of an LGBT individual.
I am 73 (will be in 6 weeks) and still active and have a decent pension. Yet, a divorce and a bad experience with the tax department the year I retired leave me with little discretionary income. I am renting two rooms from my sister who also was in a position of needing funds to continue. That means my partner and I are not living together right now and neither of us seem able to put together the funds to pay first and last months rent for our own place.
I think there are several issues for elders – one, the funds; two the people; and three the availability of LGBT friendly facilities. A few years back the Gay and Lesbian film festival had a film on elder care in Germany for gays and lesbians – fascinating. They participated in planning and were shown moving in. Don’t know long-term what happened to the place.
The Prime Timers Organization world-wide provides a place for gay men over a certain age to gather and every second year they have an international gathering – in 2015 it was in Los Vegas. BUT, that is not available to the poorer or disabled who cannot travel.