08. What Is The Story Behind Christian Gays?

<<So did you start the christiangays website? Tell me that story>>>

In 1998 my husband of 33 years died.  Within six months of his death my lesbian lover of 24 years had fallen in love with my pastor (another woman).  I was so alone and so lonely.  My whole social life had revolved around my relationships with the people at church, and now I didn’t want to go there.  My children were all married and had moved to different cities.  For the first time in my life I was absolutely alone.

The thing that had always uplifted me was Christian music, and in my search to find someone who might understand me I was introduced to the music of Marsha Stevens of BALM (Born Again Lesbian Music) Ministries.  I had one cassette of her music called “Free To Be" that I wore out.  I needed a new copy, and I hoped that she might have more available.  I found more of her music, but was unable to get it into Canada because no one would ship out of the country (U.S.). 

Someone suggested that I contact Marsha directly via email.  I had no idea that I could do that, but I was desperate and reached out to her, shared with her my story of loss and the reason that I desperately needed her music.  She lovingly wrote back, and through a series of many emails she explained to me the correct interpretation the “clobber verses” used against gays, and it made so much more sense to me than what I had been taught.

It was through her personal ministry to me that I was able to completely reconcile my faith with my sexuality.  My faith was first and foremost in my life, and I was not satisfied with “liberal” interpretations of Scripture, but her explanations did not contradict or "water down" Scripture in any way.  It made sense!

So by now I was 54 yo and I decided that I REALLY wanted a Christian lesbian partner, but where to find such a person, especially in the small village where I lived?  

The internet was very new back then, but there was a List Serve called Christian Lesbians.  Long story short, I met Jan who moved from New Hampshire to Canada to be my (not legal) wife.

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