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Christian Gays
Dedicated To Gender Diversity and Faith
Humour

Catholic Dictionary

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily
                  2. Catholic air conditioning
                  3. Your receipt for attending Mass

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than the congregation’s range

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams

JONAH: The original “Jaws” story

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower

MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO
                2. The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass – led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman

USHERS: The only people in the Parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew

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  • HOME
  • GAY & CHRISTIAN
    • Christianity & Homosexuality
    • Listen To Christian Music
    • Clobber Verses Explained
    • Videos – Miscellaneous
    • Non-Binary & Queer Humour
    • Articles by Mary Pearson
    • Think We’re Wrong?
    • Gays & Christian Denominations
    • Listen To LGBTQ Christian Music
    • Articles – Miscellaneous
    • Publications for Lesbians & Gays
    • Books by Patricia Spencer
    • Gay & Lesbian History/Herstory
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Listen To Classic Lesbian Music
    • Non-Binary & Marriage Equality
    • Going To Hell Because I’m Gay?
    • Immigration & Refugee Info
    • LGBTIQ+ Youth Support
    • Parents of a GLBTIQ+ Child
    • Same Sex Marriage
    • Find a Church by Location
    • Miscellaneous Resource Links
    • Ex-Gay & Exodus Exposed
    • Two Spirit Resources
    • Movies with LGBTIQ+ Themes
    • Testimonials & Success Stories
    • LGBTIQ+ Seniors Resources
    • Our Stories & Experiences
    • Blogs by our Members
  • SEX, GENDER & ORIENTATION
    • Sex, Gender & Orientation
    • Trans Articles, Books, Resources
    • Transsexual Transgender Videos
    • Intersex & Non-Binary Articles & Resources
    • Intersex Videos
    • For Allies
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