Ten Reasons Gay Marriages Are Wrong!

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses,
   polyester, and air conditioning.


2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around
   tall people will make you tall.


3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may
   even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage
   contract.


4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women
   are still property, blacks still aren't supposed to marry whites.


5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed;
   the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.


6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual couples,
   infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages
   aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.


7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight
   children.


8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of
   one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in
   North America.


9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's
   why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.


10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new
    social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy,
    or longer life spans.